I was overwhelmed at this party recently but how can that be when I was surrounded by people that are my family? So many conversations were taking place around me that I would lose the train of the dialogue directed at me. I felt like a deer in headlights. This is the only way I can describe my introverted personality.
When I was a teenager, I experienced the total meltdown of Junior High School. Suddenly my small world of 7th grade in one school merged into 4 schools combined into 8th grade. Ugh. Madness. I was being bullied on the bus. I walked around this huge school that felt like a prison and my kaleidoscope vision made me feel like I was on drugs…but I wasn’t. So I stopped going to school – for a long time. My poor Mother didn’t have a clue what was going on with me. I couldn’t explain it because I didn’t know IT was different. Several counselors she took me too didn’t ever say “introverted.”
I did go back to school and I did graduate. Then came the hard part of finding a job. HARD. I can’t begin to describe how hard. Still have issues with this…
I feel like a turtle that is most comfortable in my own shell. When I poke my head out, I get so confused sometimes. I don’t feel like I fit in during most of my day spent out in the real world. I only feel totally at ease when I am driving and admiring the scenery but as soon as the car door opens, I freeze inside.
So there you have it – a weird look into my introverted self or an introspection on introversion. Lol.