I have a confession

I don’t feel comfortable photographing people, shhhhh.  Ok, I may have admitted that here on the blog before.  But let me explain what happened yesterday.

We drove to the Brandermill area to have lunch with Ray’s parents.  We were celebrating Jeanette’s birthday and Ray’s birthday earlier this month.  As we pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I adjusted my camera settings to Auto.  I grumbled to Ray as I did that because it makes me feel like a failure.  But when I’m trying to capture memories and I’m using other settings I find little mistakes like blur or underexposed shots.

I blamed my new bifocals last month for the out of focus shot I took of Ray and his parents. {Sigh}  So I was trying to be ok with Auto. This time. Really.

Ray sat next to his momma in the booth and his dad and I sat next to each other.  I noticed that Ray and Jeanette had the same pose naturally as we were talking so I grabbed my cell phone to capture that similarity.  Ray tried to move and I told them what I noticed so he moved back into that position.  4.26 (1) (640x480)

Then Jeanette laughed as I asked Cliff to take a selfie with me.  She looked at both images on my cell phone as she exclaimed that I always have cool gadgets {hmmm, me?} 4.26 (3) (640x360)

We had a very nice visit while we enjoyed our ribs and barbecue chicken at Q.  As we drove away, Ray looked at me and said “You didn’t even pull out your camera!”  I know.  I hate Auto. {Sigh}

Hope you have a wonderful Sunday!

Feline and Flower Power Friday

I’ve been searching for my blogging mojo.  I’m still celebrating life each and every day but my spirit has been a bit frazzled from the winter doldrums, losing sweet Spooky and watching over Jeremy as we came close to battling the spectre of death again.  {I know I’m very dramatic here – try living it 24-7, sigh}

So to dip my toes in the water again, what better subject than BUD?  Then I included a few more buds – flowers given to me at work to celebrate Admin’s Day {week}.  I’m going to plant the gerber daisies and the marigold this weekend (I promise Bren).  I’m joining my fellow admins today to have lunch with our director at Applebee’s.  TGIF!

20140419_083218 (640x480) 4.25 (2) (640x427) 4.25 (4) (640x427) 4.25 (6) (640x427) 20140419_134220 (640x480) 20140419_142115 (640x480) 4.25 (8) (640x427) 20140424_203828 (640x480)

 

Ray and I are having lunch with his parents tomorrow.  His mom is 81 today!  Go Jeanette:)  Talk about celebrating LIFE!  Woo hoo!

Today’s post is in honor of my sister Bren and Cheryl.  These two inclredible ladies are my very best friends and supporters in this world.  They also share my love of the Budmeister.  This Bud’s for y’all.

Happy Easter to you

I’m enjoying a peaceful morning.  Yesterday I grabbed my camera and headed outside after the rain.  I was simply enjoying the beauty of Spring!  I’m including a photo of Jeremy and Ray too.  Two of the great loves of my life.  I’m missing a few more of my loves that are miles away in Kentucky today.

Tomorrow real life.  I will be celebrating my anniversary of working at the school while I was temping.  Hard to believe it’s been a year!

Smiles from Jeremy

Smiles from Jeremy – cellphone shot

Lines

Lines

Got to have tree bark

Got to have tree bark

New leaves

New leaves

Ruffles

Ruffles

Sigh...I want one of these

Sigh…I want one of these

I saw a lot of yellow yesterday

I saw a lot of yellow yesterday

Not mine but I love the vignette

Not mine but I love the vignette

I'm in love with this wispy tulip

I’m in love with this wispy tulip

Delicate flowers

Delicate flowers

One of these things is not like the others...

One of these things is not like the others…

4.19 (1) (640x427)

My most interesting man with that other guy:)

My most interesting man with that other guy:)  Cellphone shot

Healthy but so thin

Healthy but so thin –  cellphone shot

This Mother’s Love

Back in March, I had an awful nightmare about Jeremy that brought back my fear from his cancer treatment days.  I like to think that it’s God’s way of warning me that he was in danger.  Even so, I was still shocked when I got the call that he was being admitted to the hospital and going into ICU.  Jeremy spent 16 days in the hospital this month due to a dreadful condition called Pancreatitis.

Once I got that call my thought process was to pack a bag and get to that hospital.  That was where I had to be.  ICU had relaxed the rules about visitation but I wasn’t allowed to stay overnight in that room with him.  So I stayed nearby at my Mom’s and sister Judy’s house but was back the next morning.  He supposedly was bouncing back quickly and the doctors attributed that to his young age.  So I celebrated by smiling the whole way when he was moved a few days later to a regular room out of ICU because he was getting better!

I won’t go into all of the details of his entire stay or how they messed up and sent him home only for me to take him back the next day.  I will tell you he experienced the horrific NG Tube being placed into his nose and down his throat to slowly empty his stomach of the enzymes his pancreas wasn’t able to process. I’m so thankful that his nurse was able to arrange a private room for him after that and I was able to stay the night to help him cope as best he could with the discomfort and nausea that tube created.  He was miserable and all I could do was to be there for him.

He suffered several setbacks during his stay.  He wasn’t always the best patient at the end when he just wanted to get out of there.  He may have hurt my feelings unintentionally once or twice.

Jeremy had a visitor the day before he was discharged.  The man wasn’t someone I expected to hear profound thoughts from but he blew my mind.  He said “Jeremy, your mom brought you into this world and she’s been here with you to make sure you don’t leave it too soon.”

I will confess that as I dropped Jeremy off yesterday, I had a bout of tears.  But I was coming home to Ray, Bud and my life.  Today Jeremy called me and we talked.  I loved hearing from him – he sounded so good.

Tomorrow is Easter.  I am sovery thankful that we’ve experienced another miracle with Jeremy’s recovery.

My life got derailed

Jeremy in ICU - April 1, 2014

Jeremy in ICU – April 1, 2014

I was at my desk on April 1st when my cell phone displayed an incoming call from my sister, Brenda.  I answered it with trepidation.  What was wrong?  My worst nightmare came true when she said “Jeremy is in the hospital in ICU. They think its pancreatitis.”  This wasn’t an April fool’s joke.   I rushed to tell my manager who made me sit while she called Ray.

Those moments between the call, going home to pack an overnight bag and Ray driving the 90 minutes to the hospital were the longest of my life.  Seeing my child in a hospital bed in ICU weakened my knees, flashbacks and paranoia from his cancer-fighting days unnerved me.

My mom has had this condition strike her twice in the last decade so I’m familiar with the twists and turns of the mighty pancreas.  Jeremy and his doctors blew my mind.  I kept hearing well he’s younger so he’s bouncing back faster.  He was out of ICU on the 3rd and discharged the next day to my disbelief.  He was still in pain and had been eating but stopped.  Yet they sent him home.

The next day we were back in ER where those doctors said “big mistake, he shouldn’t have been released” because his pancreas was still enflamed.  Turns out the lab work showed it was over but the CT scan said otherwise.

Long story short, Jeremy is still in hospital.  I came home last Sunday and again today for mental health breaks. I want to believe he is thru the worst of it.  He looks so much better than he did.  He’s back on a liquid diet and he’s going to take it slowly to give his pancreas time to recover and heal.  I believe God sent a very special doctor into our ER room last weekend who understands his condition and how to treat him.

I’m so grateful that my loved ones have been so supportive.  We’ve had a great group of nurses.  I also have to say that I’m so grateful for my job.  My manager has been amazing with her understanding and turns out I had enough time build up to cover for this emergency.